This guy's having a drink at the rooftop bar when a man walks in, asks for a shot, downs it, and takes a running leap off the roof. to the guy's surprise, the man floats back up, lands gently on his feet, and returns to the bar. Amazed, the guy asks how he did it. "Easy," says the man, "The wind currents around this building are so strong that you can float on them!"
"Wow," says the guy. "I gotta try that!" He downs a shot, takes a running leap off the edge--and falls to a horrible, bloody death.
The bartender turns to the man and says, "Jeez, Superman, you really are a jerk when you drink."
Clowning Around--
How do you spot Ronald McDonald in a crowd at a nude beach?
He's the one with the sesame seed buns!
Slide Show--
Three guys are lost in the desert and on the verge of dehydration when they come accross a magician standing at the top of this really steep slide, the magician says to them, "As you each go down this magic slide, name a drink. When you reach the bottom, you will land in a giant glass of the drink you named."
The first guy goes down yelling, "WAAAAATERRRRR!" Plop! He lands in a big glass of water.
The second guy goes down yelling, "GAAAAATORRAAAAADEEE!" Plop! He lands in a big glass of Gatorade.
The third guy goes down yelling,
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Very Bunny--
A man is driving down the road when suddenly something darts in front of his car. He slams ont he brakes but he's unable to stop in time and hits it head on. He jumps out of the car to see what he hit. There lifeless in the middle of the road, likes the Easter Bunny. Mortified the man just stands there, sobbing. Finally, a woman drives up and asks. "What's the Problem?"
"I ran over the Easter Bunny!" cries the man. "Now there will be no one to deliver eggs on easter morning, and it's all my fault."
"Don't worry," says the woman. She roots around in her bag, pulls out a spray bottle, goes to the dead bunny, and sprays it. Immediately, the bunny springs up hops for 10 feet, then stops and waves. Then it hops another 10 feet and stops and waves. It does this over and over again until it's out of sight.
Dumbfounded the man turns to the woman.
"What the heck is in that bottle?" He asks.
"Hare spray," answers the woman. "It revitalizes hare and adds permanent wave!"